TREATMENT OF UNRESOLVED TRAUMA

What are the most common signs or symptoms of unresolved trauma?

Unresolved trauma often shows up in subtle but pervasive ways. Its symptoms are often misdiagnosed or misunderstood until trauma is explored as a root cause. Some of the most common signs I see in my clients include the following: 

1. They often feel anxious, on edge, or like something bad is about to happen. Even when things appear calm, there may be a constant sense of unease or a feeling of needing to stay alert. It can seem like they’re always bracing for something to go wrong. This chronic state of hypervigilance is often a learned response to past experiences where being alert felt necessary for safety.

2. They may avoid certain people, places, or situations—sometimes without realizing it. Avoidance can look like canceling plans, staying excessively busy, or shutting down emotionally. It’s not always a conscious decision; rather, it’s often a protective strategy developed to steer clear of reminders of distress or discomfort. The avoidance may not make logical sense to others, but it serves a powerful emotional function.

3. They might feel emotionally numb or disconnected from others. They may describe feeling distant, “checked out,” or like they’re just going through the motions of life. Even in meaningful relationships, it can be difficult for them to feel connected. This emotional shutdown often develops when overwhelming emotions become too difficult to process and the nervous system responds by going into a kind of protective freeze.

4. They tend to carry a strong sense of shame, self-blame, or harsh self-criticism. Their inner voice may be constantly judging, minimizing their accomplishments, or questioning their worth. This critical self-talk often stems from early experiences where they were made to feel responsible for things that weren’t their fault or where love and approval were conditional.

5. They may have moments of anger or irritability that seem disproportionate to the situation. Small triggers might lead to sudden outbursts or intense frustration. These reactions often don’t make sense to them in the moment and may be followed by guilt or confusion. In many cases, the emotional charge comes from past experiences being reactivated in subtle, unconscious ways.

6. They experience flashbacks, nightmares, or intrusive thoughts. These may be vivid or vague but still emotionally intense. They might relive certain moments from the past or feel overwhelmed by memories or sensations they can’t fully explain. These symptoms are the brain’s way of processing trauma that hasn’t yet been fully integrated.

7. Their body may carry the stress through physical symptoms with no clear medical explanation. Chronic fatigue, headaches, stomach issues, or muscle pain may persist even after medical tests come back normal. These physical symptoms are real, and they often reflect emotional distress or unresolved trauma that the body is holding onto in the absence of other outlets.

   
   

What therapeutic methods have you found most effective in treating trauma?

I am formally trained in Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT), an evidence-based model designed to support children and adolescents who have experienced trauma. With adults, I draw on core elements of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) through a trauma-informed lens, integrating safety, choice, and emotional pacing into the process. While the specific tools may differ based on age and life experience, the work is always grounded in the belief that healing happens when people feel supported, understood, and empowered to rewrite old narratives.

When working with children and teens, I use the structured TF-CBT model to help them better understand what they’ve been through, learn skills to manage emotional and physical reactions, and make meaning of their experiences in a developmentally appropriate way. TF-CBT includes caregiver involvement, which is crucial in helping the child feel safe and supported beyond the therapy space. Together, we build coping tools, address distorted or self-blaming beliefs, and gradually create a trauma narrative—a safe and supported process of telling their story. I use art, play, and movement-based interventions where appropriate, and always move at a pace that respects the child’s emotional readiness and sense of safety.

For adults, I incorporate CBT in a way that is flexible, relational, and attuned to the unique ways trauma shows up in adult lives. Rather than following a rigid protocol, I adapt CBT principles—such as identifying unhelpful thoughts, exploring emotional patterns, and strengthening coping strategies—to fit each person’s lived experience. A trauma-informed approach means I don’t just focus on “changing thoughts,” but also explore where those beliefs came from and what they’ve helped the person survive.

I work to create a space where clients feel safe enough to be curious about their internal experience, without shame or urgency. We may look at patterns like self-blame, chronic over-responsibility, or emotional numbing, and begin to understand how these were once protective. From there, we gently explore new ways of thinking, relating, and responding that feel more aligned with who they are now—not who they had to be then.

Any specific advice for individuals trying to heal from past trauma on their own or between therapy sessions? 

I often remind my clients that healing from trauma isn’t a straight line. It’s completely normal for progress to come in episodically—some days you might feel like you’re making huge strides forward, and other days it can feel like you’re stuck or even moving backward. Those moments of overwhelm or setback are a natural part of the recovery process, not a sign that you’re failing.

It’s really important not to rush or push yourself too hard, especially when you’re facing painful emotions. Moving too quickly without enough support can sometimes retraumatize you or lead to burnout, which only makes things harder in the long run.

So, I encourage you to practice patience with yourself and to pace your healing. That means tuning in to your body and emotions, noticing what feels manageable, and honoring your limits without judgment. Give yourself permission to rest and to let the healing unfold in its own time.

Ultimately, healing is about coming back—again and again—to a place of safety, connection, and kindness toward yourself, even when that feels difficult. It’s not about being perfect or “fixed” overnight, but about gently reclaiming your sense of safety and wholeness, step by step.

A success story (anonymized)I once worked with a young client who had been in therapy for many years, seeking relief from persistent anxiety, depression, and anger. Despite all the work they’d done, these symptoms remained deeply rooted and resistant to change. Over time, it became clear that much of the therapy had focused on managing symptoms rather than fully addressing the underlying cause.

This client had grown up in a household where a parent struggled with substance abuse, and they had witnessed several near overdoses. For years, these experiences were never named or understood as trauma—often they were buried beneath shame, confusion, and fear. Without recognizing the weight and impact of these early experiences, the client carried a burden they hadn’t been able to fully express or process.

When we began to explicitly name these events as traumatic, it created space in therapy to address them directly. Acknowledging these moments as trauma validated the client’s pain and the survival strategies they had developed. It wasn’t about blaming or pathologizing their parent, but about understanding how those experiences shaped their internal world—their sense of safety, trust, and emotional regulation.

From that point, the work shifted. We began exploring the emotions that had been held in the body and mind for so long—grief, fear, anger—and developed tools to manage overwhelming feelings when they arose. The client gradually found ways to integrate their past without being defined by it, and their symptoms started to lessen as the trauma was brought into the light and met with compassion.

This case reinforced for me how critical it is to recognize and name trauma explicitly, especially when early life experiences have been confusing or hidden beneath layers of coping. It’s often the key that unlocks deeper healing and opens the door to reclaiming safety and resilience.